whalecome to my brain vomit

84,985 notes




"make up is false advertisement!"


"i view women as products"

If you went on a few dates with a charming, fit-looking guy, decided to invite him upstairs, and after he took off his shirt he unstrapped a hidden girdle and his massive gelatinous kegbelly rippled forth, you would be pissed too.

did you really just compare a woman putting some powder on her face to a guy literally reshaping his entire body

(via agreatdisplayofpatience)

99,717 notes



More fun facts about ancient Celtic marriage laws: There were no laws against interclass or interracial marriage, no laws against open homosexual relationships (although they weren’t considered ‘marriages’ since the definition of a marriage was ‘couple with child’), no requirement for women to take their husband’s names or give up their property, but comedians couldn’t get married

It’s Adam and Eve not Adam Sandler and Eve

(Source: saltwaterandink, via tea-in-the-tardis)

263,908 notes




"I think every woman at one point or another in their life has been called a bitch. For a long time I had a real problem with that word, I didn’t like it and I thought it was derogatory. But I’ve gotten to a place now where I’ve made a lot of peace with it. It’s been so overused and made to seem so derogatory towards woman that I’ve adapted it into an empowering feeling for myself. If I’m a bitch then I’m a bitch, if that’s what an assertive woman is to you. So I’ve sort of adapted it as a badge of honor."



(Source: therealxtina, via the19fucking75)

47,665 notes

a letter from the end of the first week of hogwarts

albus severus:
dear mum and dad
albus severus:
i was in the library today
albus severus:
reading a book about previous heads of hogwarts
albus severus:
and i would just like to say
albus severus:
are you fucking serious
albus severus:
i demand a name change immediately
albus severus:
just literally anything else please
albus severus:
fucking dobby kreacher potter for all i care
albus severus:
sorry for swearing i just
albus severus:
bloody hell
albus severus:
yours sincerely,
albus severus:
aragog fang potter or some shit

356,161 notes



wow my brother was telling me this joke and he said

"if you’re fighting with a woman and she pulls a knife on you, just pull out the bread and cheese and meat and her womanly instincts will kick in and she’ll just make you a sandwich"

then all of a sudden our mom emerges from the kitchen holding a huge ass knife and she approaches my brother asking “sorry what was that?” and he started screaming

100000000 points to mom.

(Source: spockdarlin, via croft-d-dina)